Making friends as a kid was easy. You sat next to someone in class. You played on the same team. You became friends. As an adult, it feels different. Work takes most of your time. People move away. Schedules clash. But adult friendships are possible. Here is how to make them happen.
Why Adult Friendships Feel Harder
In school, you were surrounded by people your age. You saw them every day. You had built-in activities and shared experiences. As an adult, that structure disappears. You might work from home. Your coworkers might be much older or younger. Your old friends might live in other cities.
Adults also have less free time. Jobs, partners, kids, and chores fill the day. There is less room for spontaneous hangouts. And many adults feel awkward putting themselves out there. It can feel like everyone else already has their friend group. That is not true. Lots of adults want new friends too.
Common Barriers (and How to Overcome Them)
- Too busy: Block friend time like you would a meeting. Even 30 minutes a week helps.
- Shy or introverted: Start with one-on-one hangouts instead of big groups.
- Moved to a new city: Use apps, meetups, and hobbies to find your people.
- Fear of rejection: Remember that most people are friendly. A "no" is rare.
Where to Meet Potential Friends
You need to put yourself in places where you can meet people. Sitting at home will not work. The good news: there are more options than ever.
Hobbies and Groups
Join a club, class, or group that matches your interests. Book clubs, running groups, cooking classes, hiking meetups, volunteering. When you do something you enjoy with others, conversation flows naturally. You already have something in common.
Work (With Boundaries)
Many adult friendships start at work. Grab coffee with a coworker. Join the work softball league. Go to happy hour. Just be careful not to overshare or mix work drama with friendship. Keep it light at first.
Neighbors and Community
Your neighborhood can be a source of friends. Say hi to people at the dog park, gym, or local café. Join a community garden or neighborhood group. Attend block parties. Small, repeated interactions can turn into friendships.
Online and Apps
Friend-making apps like Bumble BFF, Meetup, and Facebook groups help people find others with similar interests. Online communities around hobbies (gaming, knitting, fitness) can lead to real-life meetups. Just be safe and meet in public first.
| Place | Pros | Cons |
|---|---|---|
| Hobby groups | Shared interests, regular meetups | May take time to feel close |
| Work | See people often, shared context | Boundaries needed, can get messy |
| Volunteering | Meaningful, good people | May be one-off events |
| Apps | Designed for friend-seeking | Can feel awkward at first |
How to Turn an Acquaintance Into a Friend
Meeting someone once is easy. Turning that into a real friendship takes follow-up. Most people stop too early. They have a nice chat, exchange numbers, and never reach out. The key is taking the next step.
Be the One to Reach Out
Do not wait for them to text first. Most people are happy to get an invite. Send a message: "Hey, I enjoyed talking to you at the meetup. Want to grab coffee sometime?" Be specific. Suggest a place and time. That makes it easier for them to say yes.
Follow Up More Than Once
One invite might not work. Schedules clash. Life happens. Try again. If they seem interested but busy, give it another shot in a few weeks. Some friendships need a few tries before they stick.
What to Do When You Hang Out
Keep it low-pressure. Coffee, a walk, or a casual meal works well. Avoid activities that make it hard to talk (like a loud concert for a first hangout). Ask questions. Share about yourself. Find common ground. Laugh. The goal is to build rapport, not to impress.
Accept That It Takes Time
Adult friendships do not form overnight. In school, you had years of daily contact. As an adult, you might see someone once a month. That means it takes longer to feel close. Be patient. Keep showing up. Consistency matters more than intensity.
Deal With Rejection Gracefully
Not everyone will want to be friends. They might be busy, going through something, or just not feel a connection. That is okay. It is not a reflection of your worth. Move on. Keep putting yourself out there. The right people will say yes.
Maintain the Friendships You Make
Making a friend is step one. Keeping them is step two. Schedule regular check-ins. Remember their birthday. Invite them to things. Be the friend you want to have. Adult friendships need nurturing. They will not survive on autopilot.
Check Your Friendship Chemistry
Once you have made a new friend, try our BFF Percentage Calculator. Enter your names for a fun friendship score. It is a lighthearted way to celebrate a new connection. For more relationship tools, see Love Compatibility and Name Match.
FAQs About Making Friends as an Adult
Is it normal to have trouble making friends as an adult?
Yes. Many adults struggle with this. Life gets busier, structures change, and it takes more intention to form new friendships. You are not alone.
How many times should I reach out before giving up?
Try 2–3 times. If they keep declining or never initiate, it may be a sign they are not interested. Move on without taking it personally.
Can I make friends online?
Yes. Online communities and apps can lead to real friendships. Many people meet online and then connect in person. Just prioritize safety when meeting someone new.
What if I am introverted?
Introverts can make great friends. Choose smaller settings, one-on-one hangouts, and activities that feel comfortable. Quality over quantity matters.