Your best friend moves away. Or you do. Or life scatters your friend group across the country. Distance makes friendship harder, but it does not have to end it. Many people maintain close friendships across thousands of miles. Here is how they do it.
Accept That It Will Feel Different
Long-distance friendship is not the same as living in the same town. You cannot pop over for coffee. You cannot run into each other at the grocery store. That is okay. The friendship can still be strong. It just takes different effort. Adjust your expectations. Quality matters more than quantity.
What Changes (and What Stays the Same)
- You will talk less often—that is normal
- You will miss spontaneous hangouts—plan virtual ones instead
- The bond can stay deep—trust and history do not need proximity
- Reunions feel extra special—distance can make you appreciate each other more
Set a Communication Rhythm
Without a plan, weeks can slip by without contact. Life gets busy. Time zones clash. Before you know it, months have passed. The fix: set a rhythm. A weekly call. A daily text thread. A monthly video chat. Whatever works for both of you. Consistency beats intensity. A 15-minute call every week is better than a three-hour call once a year.
Use More Than Text
Texting is easy but limited. You miss tone, facial expressions, and the feeling of connection. Add voice notes, phone calls, and video chats. Hearing someone's voice or seeing their face makes a big difference. Schedule video calls like you would a real hangout. Put it on the calendar. Treat it as important.
Share the Small Stuff
When you lived close, you knew the little details of each other's lives. The bad day at work. The funny thing that happened. The song that was stuck in your head. Distance can make conversations feel heavy—you only talk when something big happens. Try to share the small stuff too. A quick voice note. A photo of your lunch. A "thinking of you" text. It keeps you in each other's daily life.
| Method | Best For |
|---|---|
| Text / chat | Quick check-ins, sharing memes, small updates |
| Voice notes | Longer updates when typing feels like too much |
| Phone calls | Real conversations, catching up on life |
| Video chat | Feeling close, shared activities (watch a movie, cook together) |
Create Shared Experiences Online
You cannot go to the same movie or restaurant. But you can watch a movie together on a video call. You can cook the same recipe and eat "together." You can play an online game. You can read the same book and discuss it. These shared activities create memories and give you something to talk about beyond "how are you?"
Ideas for Virtual Hangouts
Movie night (sync the start time, video call while watching). Game night (online games, trivia, or card games). Cook together (same recipe, on video, eat at the same time). Book club for two. Workout together on video. The goal is to do something, not just talk. Shared experiences keep the bond fresh.
Plan Visits When You Can
Nothing replaces in-person time. Even one visit a year can recharge the friendship. Save up. Plan ahead. Make it a priority. A long weekend together can sustain you for months. If visits are impossible (different countries, tight budgets), focus on the virtual connection. But if you can make it happen, do it.
Handle Time Zones With Grace
If you are in different time zones, scheduling gets tricky. Take turns accommodating. Maybe you talk early morning your time so it works for their evening. Use time zone apps to find overlap. Be flexible. Sometimes you will be tired. Sometimes they will. That is part of long-distance friendship.
Do Not Compare to Local Friends
Your local friends might see each other weekly. You might talk to your long-distance best friend once a month. That does not mean your bond is weaker. Different friendships have different rhythms. Your long-distance friend can still be your closest confidant. Focus on the quality of connection, not the frequency of contact.
Send Surprises in the Mail
Snail mail feels special. A postcard, a small gift, a handwritten letter. It shows you were thinking of them. It gives them something to hold. Birthday cards, care packages, or just a random "saw this and thought of you" package. Small gestures matter when you are far apart.
Celebrate Your Long-Distance Bond
Want to have some fun with your long-distance bestie? Try our BFF Percentage Calculator. Enter your names for a friendship score and share the result over video chat. For more relationship tools, check Love Compatibility and Name Match.
FAQs About Long-Distance Friendships
How often should long-distance friends talk?
It depends on you both. Some pairs talk daily. Others weekly or monthly. What matters is that you have a rhythm that works and that neither person feels forgotten.
What if we have very different time zones?
Find the overlap. You might have a short window—early morning for one, evening for the other. Use it. Even 20 minutes can help. Also use async methods like voice notes so you can "talk" without being online at the same time.
Can a long-distance friendship be as strong as a local one?
Yes. Many people say their long-distance best friend knows them better than anyone nearby. Proximity helps, but depth of connection matters more. Trust, history, and effort can bridge the miles.
What if we are drifting apart?
Talk about it. Say you miss them and want to connect more. Suggest a new rhythm—maybe a weekly call or a shared activity. Sometimes one honest conversation can reset the connection.