When you get into a serious relationship, something often shifts. Your friends see you less. Plans get canceled. The group chat goes quiet. It does not have to be that way. You can have a healthy romance and strong friendships. It just takes intention. Here is how to balance both.
The Problem: Why Friends Get Pushed Aside
New relationships are exciting. You want to spend every moment with your partner. That is normal. But when it goes on for months, friends notice. They feel replaced. They stop inviting you. The friendship weakens. Later, if the relationship ends or hits a rough patch, you may wish you had kept those connections strong.
Even in a long-term relationship, it is easy to default to couple time. Weekends become "us" time. You forget to make plans with friends. The gap grows. Balancing friendship and romance means making room for both.
Signs Your Friends Feel Neglected
- They have stopped inviting you to things
- You always cancel or show up late
- Conversations feel surface-level when you do meet
- They make jokes about you "disappearing"
Why Friendships Matter in a Relationship
Your partner cannot be everything. Friends provide different kinds of support. They give you a break from couple dynamics. They remind you of who you were before the relationship. They offer perspective your partner cannot. Studies show that people with strong friendships are often happier in their romantic relationships too. Friends make you a better partner.
Schedule Friend Time (Yes, Actually Schedule It)
The biggest mistake is assuming friend time will "just happen." It will not. If you do not block time, your calendar fills with work, errands, and couple time. Put friend hangouts on the calendar. Treat them like important appointments. A monthly dinner, a weekly call, a quarterly trip—whatever works. Consistency matters.
How Much Time Is Enough?
There is no magic number. Some people need weekly friend time. Others are fine with monthly. The key is that it happens regularly. Your friends should know they can count on seeing you. Talk to your partner about it. Make it clear that friend time is non-negotiable. A good partner will support that.
Include Your Partner (Sometimes)
Not every friend hangout needs to include your partner. Some should be friend-only. That is healthy. But sometimes, mix it up. Invite your partner to group dinners or game nights. Let your friends and partner get to know each other. When they like each other, it is easier for everyone. No one feels like they have to compete.
Set Boundaries With Your Partner
Some partners want to be included in everything. They may feel left out or jealous when you have friend time. Talk about it. Explain that your friendships matter and that friend-only time is normal. A secure partner will understand. If your partner tries to control who you see or when, that is a red flag. Healthy relationships allow space for other people.
| Do | Do Not |
|---|---|
| Schedule regular friend time | Drop friends the moment you get a partner |
| Communicate with your partner about plans | Cancel on friends last minute repeatedly |
| Have some friend-only hangouts | Bring your partner to every single plan |
| Introduce friends and partner when it makes sense | Force them to be best friends |
Stay Present When You Are With Friends
When you do see your friends, be there. Put your phone away. Do not spend the whole time texting your partner. Give your friends your full attention. They will notice. Quality time means actually being present. An hour of focused hangout beats three hours of you being distracted.
Do Not Dump Your Friends for Your Partner's Friends
Some people get into a relationship and suddenly only hang out with their partner's friends. Their old friends fade away. That can happen gradually. You start doing couple things with couple friends. Your solo friend group gets less attention. Try to keep both. Your friends were there before your partner. They can be there during and after too.
After a Breakup: Your Friends Are Your Lifeline
If you neglected your friends during the relationship, a breakup can feel lonely. You may realize you do not have many people to turn to. That is why investing in friendships while you are in a relationship matters. When things fall apart, your friends will be there. Keep that in mind.
Your Partner Should Have Friends Too
Balance works both ways. Your partner should also have their own friendships. If they rely on you for everything—social life, emotional support, fun—that can feel heavy. Encourage them to spend time with their friends. You will both be happier.
Test Your Connections
Want a fun way to celebrate your friendships? Try our BFF Percentage Calculator. Enter your name and your friend's name for a friendship score. For romantic compatibility, check out Love Compatibility and Name Match.
FAQs About Balancing Friendship and Romance
How much time should I spend with friends when in a relationship?
There is no set rule. What matters is that you make time regularly—whether that is weekly, biweekly, or monthly. Consistency and quality matter more than quantity.
My partner gets jealous when I see friends. What do I do?
Talk about it. Explain that friendships are important and that friend time does not threaten the relationship. If jealousy persists, it may be worth talking to a therapist. Healthy relationships allow space for other connections.
Should my partner and my friends hang out together?
Sometimes, yes. It can help everyone feel connected. But you also need friend-only time. Mix of both works best.
I lost touch with friends during my relationship. How do I reconnect?
Reach out. Admit you dropped the ball. Apologize if needed. Suggest a concrete plan to get together. Most friends will be happy to reconnect if you show genuine effort.